Bad News Bears

Let me just start by saying I nearly broke my foot, lost my voice and almost threw my back out today. It's all due to what else... but coaching Piper's soccer game. Her team is bad. Really, really bad. And that's putting it mildly. Her coach wasn't able to make it to the game today so she asked Craig to fill in.. who then asked me to do it. I can't blame the coach for not wanting to come. We've only lost every game by lots and lots. I can't blame Craig for not wanting to coach again either. The last time he filled in, the other coach came over and apologized because they won by such a landslide. This time it was my turn.. and I was determined to do whatever it took to get our team a victory. Or at least on the scoreboard. On our way to the game.. we prayed. Asking God to allow us to play with excellence. He can move mountains.. surely he can help a little league soccer team. I had visions of 'Miracle on Ice' and 'Hoosiers'. I was fired up. If only my team of Bad News Bears felt the same. When we got there, one of the girls was crying because she didn't want to play. Her parents forced her out on the field. Literally. We all started chanting her name so she would get it together. Thankfully it worked. She was willing to at least just stand there. I told all the girls they could do cartwheels down the field if the scored. They informed me they didn't know how.. so we settled on forward rolls. My sister threw in a trip to the snack bar. Which they loved. Craig promised an all expense paid trip to Disney if they won. Yes, we're that desperate and not above bribery. While we were 'warming up' I was a total spaz. I wanted to get those girls on fire!! So just as the game was about to start, the other coach asked me if I was going to be this excited throughout the entire game. I was thinking, 'listen buddy... I'm the third string coach here. I'm doing whatever it flippin' takes to get us on the board.' The first quarter was good. We indeed got on the board.. but were still a few goals down. The second quarter.. not so good. They had an All-American on their team who was five feet taller than the other girls and could've been on the US National team. Every time the ball came within 12 feet of her, she somehow managed to score. Third quarter.. a little better. We got a couple of goals again.. the girls were turning on the heat. To continue this inspiration and motivation, I was throwing girls up in the air, waving their hands around, encouraging forward rolls, you name it. The final quarter.. a bit of a beat down. Mia Hamm was back on the field. Our girls got discouraged quick. One of our players refused to run and started yawning... complaining how tired she was. No forward roll would turn her attitude around. She was done. And fortunately, a few minutes later so was the game. There would be no trip to Disney since it was obvious we didn't win. But we were headed to the snack bar since we at least got on the board. And wouldn't you know it.. that little girl who wouldn't run.. ran all the way to the snackbar. Next week is our last game of the season. I was thinking about having Mickey and Minnie come to the game to cheer them on.. but it looks like all I need is a Snickers bar.