Well, Hello. I'm Thankful Times Two.

OK,soooo I've taken a few years off. Super sorry. I'm plugging back in.. today. Hopefully you'll see me again before another two years goes by. I like to write when I need to process stuff. Well, in the past 24 hours.. I need to process. Lucky you (lol). I drove by a wreck yesterday. A bad one. However, I had no idea how bad at the time. I passed the wreck probably three minutes after it happened. Before the police had gotten there, but after the people involved were able to get out of their cars and assess. When I passed it, it looked fairly significant. Not your average fender bender. However, there were several people just standing around emotionless. No chaos. No crying, no pacing, no one on their phones. Just people standing around. When I learned about an hour later that someone had DIED in that accident, I was stunned. A 17 year old boy lost control of his car, crossed the median on the highway and hit a pick-up truck head on. He was a football player and an active member in his high school theater group. I simply cannot get it out of my mind. No one was there WITH him. No one was NEXT to him. No one was praying with him. No one was freaking out. No one was crying. No one was on their knees, begging God.. please don't take this young life. No one was trying to get him out of the car.. somehow, someway to save him. I keep telling myself they were in shock. They had no idea how to react. They probably saw his lifeless body and just knew it wasn't good, that he was gone. Dear God.. what if that were my child. No one was doing ANYTHING!! Lord, please let me react with more urgency if ever faced in this situation. Lord, please let others act with more urgency if it's me or someone I love in need of help. Lord, please give me peace that these people were doing everything humanly possible prior to my arrival to help this young man. Please give me peace that there was someone who I didn't see trying to save this boy. Please give me peace that angels were carrying him so beautifully to meet you and take him to his eternal home. I totally and completely understand that when faced with a life threatening situation, only a small percentage of the population actually knows how to react appropriately. It's studied, documented and we've seen it time and time again in horrific situations. I'm guessing I would not fall within that small percentage if faced with a similar scene. I'm not trying to point fingers or blame anyone for their lack of response.. I'm just trying to process it. To understand. To beg God that I would know how to react and that others would know how to react if it were my son or daughter. So, there's that. And that's big. Not five minutes after the accident, I saw something else which just hit me hard. It was a cold, rainy, dreary day yesterday which I'm sure played some part in the accident (perhaps he hydroplaned?). I saw a boy, probably 10 or 11 years old walking in the rain, with his white cane. Clearly visually impaired. The boy had a helper with him.. a man walking a step behind. I'm assuming the boy was going through some type of training as it appeared the helper had some sort of a hospital/laboratory/official-type badge on. Boom. What. I can't process all of this. Seriously. I don't know why I am struggling with all of this. Am I reasonable in this mental freak out? I think these daily November "grateful" FB posts are really messing with me. I don't do them, but I read each one and they really make me stop and think. After seeing this wreck, then seeing this young visually impaired boy walking in the cold rain.. I have so much to be thankful for it's mind blowing. There are no words. Grateful times infinity.. and then some. Google gratefulness. What makes me sick though is how much I take for granted. I blow through my day expecting my eyes, my arms, my legs, my body to work perfectly without any sort of pain or discomfort. Never thinking twice about it. I assume when I drive some place I will get there safely, in one piece. I rarely ever think otherwise. I totally acknowledge the fact that you cannot live your life in fear.. in wonder.. in 'what if' land. That's no way to live. SoOOoo not healthy. But, geez.. is there some sort of happy medium? When someone puts on their FB page all of the mundane things they are grateful for, I kinda do an internal eye roll. I hate admitting that. How awesome that someone can simply be thankful for the simple things. I mean super simple. Like my fingers having the ability to type right now. There are people with neuropathy right now who no longer have fine motor skills like the ability to type. THANK YOU LORD FOR MY FINGERS WORKING PROPERLY! Can you imagine if I put that as a FB update.. "Today I am thankful for healthy hands and fast typing fingers." That would be some update! I'm sure it would get a fair amount of head scratching as well. In honor of these two events that really rocked my world yesterday, I am going to do two good deeds every single day from now until Christmas. I realize it doesn't sound like a big deal to do two good deeds each day but I can tell you right now, it's more than I'm doing currently!! I may never make sense out of what I witnessed yesterday (regarding the wreck/lack of freak out mode), I suppose that time will pass and I will slowly forget. Maybe I'm lucky that way? For the family of the young man who died, the pain will never go away. The yearning to see their son again. The pleading with God to wake up from their worst nightmare. For those actually involved in the accident, I know they too will never forget. The images of the young man they saw trapped in the car that horrible cold, rainy Tuesday. I know it will haunt them forever. I know they will play it over and over in their minds.. wondering if there was anything they could've done differently to have prevented the outcome. The young boy I saw with the white walking cane.. what a mixed bag. As a parent, I'm sure the pride and excitement they must feel that their child is learning independence. But on the other hand, the pain that goes along with it.. their child will always struggle. Life will never be easy for him. He will never get to experience so much that can only be done through sight. As a result, I'm trying to focus on my own personal "thankfulness tank". I look at these two events and think.. that could be me, my family, my kids. Thank you Lord for this day. I know and accept that everything could change in an instant and I ask for you to hold me tight when/if it does. Please Lord send angels to comfort those who need you most right now. Take my angels as backup if needed. Thank you Lord for helping me to intentionally serve others in honor of these two boys yesterday that have impacted me so greatly. Two random acts of kindness daily in honor of two boys. Hello and goodbye after two years. Thankful times two.. and then some, like a bunch.